


Mean It

by Smokedcapybara



Series: (Apprentice) Park Ranger Handsome [14]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 00:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17632631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokedcapybara/pseuds/Smokedcapybara
Summary: Also he was still freaking out about how things had ended last time he’d seen Hansen and the fact that he didn’t know when he would see him next and hadn’t had a chance to get his number on friday.So he really, really didn’t want to have to deal with Jared Kleinman first thing after he walked through the school doors.





	Mean It

“Hey Connor!”

_Kleinman._

Connor was already not having the best day. Sure, therapy had been going good and things with his mom were great. She kept sending him little smiles like they were in on some secret, just the two of them. And his relationship with his sister was… _improving_. But Larry was still Larry. And Connor wasn’t looking forward to another school year full of being judged by his peers. So there may’ve been a little bit of conflict that morning over whether he was going to school or not.

Also he was still freaking out about how things had ended last time he’d seen Hansen and the fact that he didn’t know when he would see him next and hadn’t had a chance to get his number on friday.

So he really, _really_ didn’t want to have to deal with _Jared Kleinman_ first thing after he walked through the school doors.

Especially with what he said next.

“Loving the hair - very school shooter chic!”

Connor felt himself freeze as anger started building in his chest. He tried to clamp down on it before he exploded in front of everyone, hoping desperately that Kleinman wouldn’t continue.

“It was a joke.” Kleinman’s tone was condescending, as if he thought Connor was some kind of complete idiot. Connor was about to snap, he could feel it, when another voice cut in.

“J-jokes are suppo-supposed to be funny, an-an-and that… wasn’t.”

Kleinman whirled around with a look of shock and there, halfway behind him, was _Hansen._

The anger melted away to be replaced with a confusing mash-up of emotions, good and bad. He took a couple steps forward without thinking and Kleinman backed up into the wall of lockers. His eyes flicked back and forth between Connor and Hansen frantically. Connor smirked at his expression before turning his attention back to his friend.

“S-s-sorry about him.” Hansen was curled in on himself like when they first met and it made Connor’s chest ache with a desperate need to give him back the level of comfort he’d gained over their months of meetings at their log.

“Hey.” Connor took another careful step forward. He smiled softly down at Hansen. Even there in the middle of the school hall, surrounded by their classmates, it came easier than before he knew Hansen. Easier than it did with anyone else. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” The response was automatic, clearly habit from all the times they’d had that same short exchange over the summer.

A sputtering noise came from beside them, reminding Connor of Kleinman’s presence.

_“What?!”_ Kleinman looked like he was torn between laughing incredulously and choking on his own tongue. “Since when have… has… _since when?”_ He gestured wildly between Connor and Hansen as he spoke.

Connor couldn’t help but laugh and looked back at Hansen with a raised eyebrow. “I think we broke him.”

That got a small laugh out of Hansen and his shoulders visibly relaxed a bit. Connor counted that as a win. Hopefully the first of many - preferably all in a relatively short period of time.

He turned to Kleinman for one last comment. “See? _That’s_ how you make a joke.” Then he carefully took one of Hansen’s hands in his own and started to lead him away down the hall, saluting Kleinman with his middle finger.

Connor knew people were staring at their joined hands but he refused to let go. Him and Hansen needed to talk and he was not going to let Hansen’s anxiety get him to slip away before it could happen.

He headed straight out the backdoors of the school and away a few paces, to the side and out of sight of the windows, before finally stopping and turning back to Hansen. He didn’t let go of his hand though, worried that he might run again.

“You kissed me.”

Hansen’s face went pale.

“Oh, um, I-uh, s-s-sorr-”

“Don’t _apologize.”_ Connor interrupted. Hansen took a step back and Connor tightened his hold on his hand slightly. “Unless… unless you regret it o-or didn’t mean it, don’t apologize.” He tilted Hansen’s face up to him gently with a hand under his chin. “I just want to know _why…_ why did you kiss me Evan?”

“E-Evan.” Hansen whispered, eyes wide and blush starting to color his cheeks.

“That is your name right?” Connor smirked as Hansen’s blush deepened and spread.

“Right, yeah. Sorry, I don’t know why I-”

“Hey, it’s ok.” Connor interrupted again, absently rubbing his thumb along Hansen’s jawline. “Just… just, please answer my question?” He took a small step closer. “Why did you kiss me?”

“Well… well it-it’s… I k-kissed you because…” Hansen stumbled over his words for a minute before blurting his answer out in a rushed undertone, “I did it because I’m in love with you.” Connor felt his heart skip a beat and then it was like his chest exploded into light. He felt like laughing with joy. But then Hansen’s eyes widened again then darted away from Connor’s face while he cringed. His shoulders rose up beside his ears. “I-I’m so sorry I d-d-d-didn’t me-mean to make thin-things weird I j-j-just…”

“What did I tell you about apologizing?”

Hansen looked back up at him in confusion.

“Unless you didn’t mean it, don’t.” He tried to smile gently. “Did you mean it?” He wondered if Hansen could hear the hope in his voice as clearly as he could.

Hansen stared up at him for a full minute, trembling. The lightness Connor had felt started to slowly drain out of him.

“Please tell me you meant it.” He whispered, his voice breaking and his hands starting to slip away from where they’d been holding Hansen. He closed his eyes and started to take a step back.

He heard Hansen take in a deep breath and then…

“I did.” The words were quiet and shaky, he almost didn’t catch them. Hansen’s next words were only a little louder. “I did mean it.”

Everything in Connor seemed to loosen at that and he swayed forward slightly. He cupped Hansen’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together.

“I’m in love with you too.” He whispered before tilting his head and stepping forward.

And then he was finally, _properly_ kissing Evan Hansen.


End file.
